The Expat Eley's

Written by: Victoria

I woke up one morning with a question rattling in my brain: “What the f*** am I even doing?” I had everything I thought I should. A solid marketing job working with amazing people. I was in school getting my MBA to further my career. I had a beautiful family to come home to.

And yet, the only part of that sentence that I was 100% happy with was my family. Everything else sent me spiraling into a full-blown quarter-life crisis. Breaking down over the littlest things. Feeling completely out of control. Lost.

Here’s what I did know:

1. I love my family and want to grow even closer to them.
2. I want more experiences–for myself, for Zach, for Aelin.
3. I need to take a step back from my career and do some soul-searching.

Rewinding a Bit

I graduated with my bachelor’s degree in education in 2021, ready to take on the world of teaching. Then the universe laughed. I interviewed for multiple jobs and got none of them. My confidence took a hit, and I started doubting myself. But nothing compared to the devastation that followed–the biggest bomb of my life–losing my dad. Grief wrecked me. The drive, the passion, the fire I once had? Gone.

That summer was a blur of sadness, anger, and just trying to survive. Then a friend texted me about a charter school that was desperate for teachers. It felt like a sign. Even in my darkest moments, maybe this was my purpose. I interview, got the job, and dove in.

It. Was. Terrible.

I was thrown into a 5th-grade classroom with 35 students, ages ranging from 9 to 14. No structure. No support. Administration was MIA. My mental health hit rock bottom. I cried on the way to school. I cried during lunch. I cried on the way home. After 2.5 months of absolute misery–feeling suicidal, my marriage strained, my self-worth obliterated–I quit via email, no notice, hands wiped clean. The only part I missed? The kids. But my health mattered more.

I swore off teaching. Not for me. We packed up, moved back to Dayton to be near my mom’s side and Zach’s family, and started fresh. I got a job at a bookstore (dream job, honestly). Zach worked at a local Hamburger joint with his best friend. We breathed. We healed.

Then, life threw another curveball. A promotion. Assistant Store Manager at a bookstore in North Canton. We took it, moved again (Zach is a real trooper), and two weeks later–bam–pregnant.

Excitement. Fear. Happiness. We knew then that we’d be back in Dayton soon. The next year was spent growing, meeting a lifelong best friend, cutting out toxicity, and preparing for our daughter’s arrival.

Fast forward, we moved back. I took a demotion, Zach transferred jobs, and reality set in–$12 an hour as a Bookseller wasn’t going to cut it. I landed a job as a Community Manager at an office building, which led me to applying for my MBA at UC. I got in. Everything seemed to be on track.

Then, the familiar unsettling feeling crept back in.

A new opportunity fell into my lap–Marketing Strategist for a realty group (the best, really. If you’re in Dayton and need a realtor, hit me up). This felt right. Five interviews later, I got the job. I loved it. The leadership, the agents, the team. It felt fulfilling. I was making an impact.

Then 2025 hit. One year into my MBA. 6 months into my job. And I slammed into a wall.

“What the f*** am I doing?

I miss my dad every day, but I feel it most in moments like these–where I desperately crave his guidance. I started questioning everything. Watching my daughter continue to grow and learn reignited the spark I initially had for teaching. Was teaching something I really wanted to leave behind? And then, out of nowhere, videos started popping up–people teaching English abroad. This has been something I’ve always been interested in pursuing, but the timing had never been right (but when is it ever actually the right time?).

It felt so impossible at first. But then I started breaking it down.

• Why can’t my family come with me? They can! Zach hates his job and could use time to reset and figure out his own path. Aelin isn’t in grade school yet–perfect timing. Our dogs? We have family to care for and spoil them.
• Leaving close family members behind? Moving away from the comfort of familiar faces and support systems can be one of the hardest parts of starting a new chapter in a different place. It’s tough to be away from loved ones, especially during the holidays or special moments, but with technology, staying connected is easier than ever.
• What about culture shock? The language barrier? Scary, yes. But hundreds of thousands of expats do this without knowing the language. Fear isn’t a reason to stay stagnant.
• What about my career? My job? I love the people I work for. But am I letting myself down by staying? Jobs will always be there. But this experience? This opportunity to live abroad with my family? That won’t always be there.
• Buying a home? Setting down roots? It’ll push that timeline back. But we’re still in our 20s. We have time.

And just like that (not really, many conversations were had), the decision was made.

In June, we’re moving to China! I’ll be teaching kindergarten. Zach will be a stay-at-home dad, able to pursue higher education and his hobbies. Aelin will experience a brand-new world and attend my school’s nursery program. We’ll navigate a foreign country, immerse ourselves in a different culture, and see what life has to offer outside of our comfort zone.

Is it terrifying? Absolutely.

But staying stagnant is a life that isn’t fulfilling is even scarier.

So here’s to taking the leap. Here’s to figuring it out as we go. Here’s to doing what makes us feel alive.

China, we’re coming for you. 🇨🇳 ✈️