The Expat Eley's

We’ve officially been living in Nanjing for one month–and it already feels like a lifetime and just a blink at the same time. This move stretched us, grounded us, and shown us what we’re capable of as individuals, as parents, and as a family.

Let’s rewind to how it all began.

The First Week: Chaos Meets Jet Lag

To call our first week in China “hard” would be a dramatic understatement. It was chaos. Literal hell.

We endured over 24 hours of travel with a toddler–and yes, it was every bit as brutal as it sounds. Our journey included rocking a screaming, overtired Bean in an airplane bathroom for a full hour until she finally passed out in my arms (thankfully, she stayed asleep for 8 of the 14-hour flight). Then, after a seven-hour layover in Xiamen, we boarded another plane… only to sit there for 2 hours with no air conditioning due to air traffic delays. It was hot, sticky, and miserable.

When we finally arrived in Nanjing, we dragged ourselves to our hotel, showered off the journey, and collapsed into bed. Bean fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow and we weren’t far behind.

And yet–even in those moments of exhaustion–we could feel something shifting. We were doing it. We were here.

The next day, we started to pick up the pieces. We got our local phone plans set up, toured my school, and began learning the rhythm of the city. The day after that, we viewed two apartments and signed on the second one immediately–it just felt right. It’s only a 10-minute walk from my job, surrounded by local shops, trees, friendly neighbors, and children playing in the street each evening.

We’ve been slowly turning it into our home–ordering necessities (and non-necessities) online, hanging clothes to dry on our balcony, and finding joy in small routines. We’ve become borderline obsessed with the food delivery apps. Not only is delivery incredibly cheap, but the food is delicious. Japanese curry, steaming ramen, crispy potstickers, and fresh baozi–it’s all dangerously convenient.

What’s even more surprising is how much healthier we’ve become. Unlike back in the U.S., processed food isn’t cheaper than fresh produce here. It’s easier to eat whole, fresh meals, and because we don’t have a car, we walk everywhere: to the supermarket, to the mall, around our community after dinner. In just a few weeks, we already feel lighter–physically and mentally.

And perhaps the most unexpected shift? We feel safe. I don’t walk to work scanning every shadow or clenching my keys. I can breathe here. There’s a peace to that I didn’t realize I was missing.

If I had to name a con–it’s the heat. Summer in Nanjing is positively brutal.

Missing Home, Missing People

Now that we’ve found some footing, the ache of missing family has crept in. We’re travelers at heart–curious, adventurous, always seeking–but the weight of distance still sits heavy on our shoulders.

We miss the ease of being close to family. I miss my mom being just a walk away. I miss Sunday dinners at my Nonna’s. Zach misses dropping by his grandma’s house or seeing his dad on a whim. I miss my stepmom’s presence, my siblings’ being around, and my nephew’s baby coos–who I now only get to see through a screen. We miss our boys, Theo and Winston, who couldn’t make this journey with us.

And our friends–our crew, our chosen family–some of whom have had new babies since we left… the moments we’re missing are hard to sit with. The game nights, wine tastings, chats, hangouts. That absence is loud.

But if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that love isn’t about proximity. It’s about intention. And we’ve felt that love from afar, from every message and video call. That love has kept us going.

Living on Little

In full transparency–because that’s what we want this space to be–we’re broke. Like, eat stir fry and rice four nights a week and track every kuai broke.

We aren’t ashamed of it. It’s part of the journey. Starting over in a new country meant paying four months of rent upfront, covering visa and residency fees, and buying everything from scratch for our apartment–cleaning supplies, towels, bedding, a mattress pad… the list was endless.

Right now, we can’t afford to fully explore our city the way we want to. We haven’t splurged on big meals or sightseeing outings. We’ve mostly stuck to our neighborhood, enjoying our air-conditioned mall, window shopping, and evening walks. But once my paychecks start rolling in next month, we’ll be able to share more about what this beautiful place has to offer.

For now, we’re learning how to live simply and gratefully–and that lesson might be the most valuable one of all.

Back in the Classroom

I’ve been officially working at my new school for three weeks now, and the beginning was… chaotic. There was little communication, last-minute lesson planning, and a general sense of “just figure it out.” Luckily, my laid-back Type B self was built for this kind of wild ride.

Even amidst the chaos, something remarkable happened–I started to feel like myself again.

I haven’t felt this aligned with my purpose in years. Teaching these children–watching them learn, laugh, grow, and connect–has filled my heart in ways I didn’t expect. I’ll be teaching Level 500 (ages 4-5) when the new school term begins in late July, and I’ve spent my break setting up my classroom (pictures to come soon!). There’s something about preparing a space for learning that just feels right.

Next week, I’ll be helping lead our summer camp. I know it’ll be exhausting, but I’m ready for it.

And Bean? She’ll be starting half-day preschool soon! We’re so excited to see her blossom–make friends, learn Mandarin, and slowly become bilingual. How cool is that?!

Zach is thriving in his studies and on track to graduate in a year and a half, maybe even sooner. We’re beginning to dream again–about the next five years, about careers, about travel, about life. And that’s a feeling we hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

What’s Ahead

Our next few months are filled with things to look forward to:

• Aelin’s second birthday in August–we’re planning a zoo day to celebrate our wild little explorer.
• Our anniversary and my birthday in September–we’re headed to Shanghai for a quick getaway.
• Golden Week in October, when we’ll be crossing off a lifelong bucket list item: visiting the Great Wall of China.
• Christmas in December–we’re tentatively planning to celebrate our holiday on bamboo rafts in Guilin.

This chapter of life is messy and hard and beautiful and growing. We’re evolving, healing, and stretching in ways we didn’t know we needed. We’re soaking in every moment–every baozi, every friendly interaction, every quiet night watching our community come to life beyond our window.

Thank you for following along and being a part of our journey.

With love and noodles,

The Eleys